kissed by the sun

oh the madness!

2010-03-23T14:51:00.000-06:00

what is it that rings in spring for you? is it the flowers, the ladybugs, the extra sunshine and the playing outside? for me it is that magical moment when march madness begins:) first week of games is usually my favorite. the games are amazing with upsets coming out your ears. there have been some unbelievable games this year, the biggest one was when northern iown knocked off kansas, the number one overall team in the nation. it was an amazing game. i even had kansas picked as my championship team, but the excitement of seeing the little guys win was worth every point i lost to dave because of it. he lost some to on that one though:) dave stays home from work and we just lock ourselves in the house and watch hours of basketball. the kids don't love it, but it only comes once a year, so they can deal right! well, i hope that you are all having a great march.

megan

2010-03-18T13:41:00.004-06:00

we had such a fun day at the zoo yesterday. aren't these peacocks cute. they're kissing and i love the way their bodies make a heart shape.

there was lots to do...

and lots to see... the kids loved watching the animals.

my favorite was the new baby elephant. here are baby, and momma.

the animals were all really active. the baby orangutang was swinging on the ropes, the giraffees were having some fun of their own, and this is the first time that i have really seen the red panda's face.

the kids had fun riding on the bronze animals...kate is on a rhino and bryce is on a tiger.

it was fun to be with grandma, aunts, uncles and cousins too:)

my very favorite part was the hand holding with my little ones:) gotta love the zoo!

golden surprise

2010-03-17T08:56:00.001-06:00

this morning we woke up to shoes filled with gold! i love holidays. happy st. patrick's day!

loving spring

2010-03-17T05:56:00.004-06:00

after searching blog land for some inspiration on spring decor, i decided that i didn't really want to use bunnies and chicks. i wanted to just add spring in subtley. so that's what i set out to do and i love the way it turned out. everything in the "after" photo is from the di except the plate and plate holder which cost me $8 altogether at tjmaxx and walmart. oh, and the branches are from a tree in my front yard.

the first and last photos are of the green candle sticks from yesterday - spray painted white of course and with spray painted easter eggs on top of them. in the second pic i put some seed balls that i made into the brown container i found. and in the third pic is the cute bird clock. i also painted the big picture frame black and put it up next to the other one i already had. decorating on a budget is more fun than i thought.

here are the yellow plates, also spray painted white. i am going to hang them on the wall in a diamond pattern, i just haven't decided which wall.

and these are the easter colored pots from a couple of days ago. i put ribbon through the holes and then put brown "grass" in them. they still need something else, i just don't know what that is yet. but for now they are a centerpiece on my kitchen table. it's been fun sharing with you. do you decorate for spring?

more befores

2010-03-16T20:58:00.002-06:00

okay, so i know i promised you some after photos of what i did with my finds this weekend but....i went thrifting again today and got somemore great things. so here are some more befores...some frames - the big one looks like someone colored on it with white chalk which makes it very interesting looking, 4 yellow plates - i LOVE the decoration on them but them have some wierd brown lines and i don't like the yellow color either, and some ugly green candlesticks. what am i going to do with these you ask? well, i am working on a new configuration for the top of my bookshelves. i don't have a fireplace so it is kindof like my mantel. and this time i promise to show you some afters. happy tuesday!

sneak peek

2010-03-15T14:10:00.002-06:00

my saturday trip to the di was very fruitful. i didn't find anything to give a big makeover to like i wanted, but i did find some fun things to decorate with. here's a peek at some of them...

this was my favorite find. tune in tomorrow to find out what i did with them all! have a great monday.

megs

game night

2010-03-14T20:38:00.002-06:00

tonight we pulled out chutes and ladders. it started out great, but as you can see bryce ended up taking over the entire board.

he even started eating the people:) game over.

2010-03-14T06:25:00.002-06:00

it is 5:30 in the morning and i can't sleep. i was reading some of my favorite blogs when i came across this wonderful post about loving yourself. susannah, at ink on my fingers , has such great insight. anyway, this is part of what she wrote.

"They say we must eat sensibly, exercise regularly and take time out to de-stress - I'd like to add 'fall in love with ourselves' to that list. To be able to cultivate our self-esteem and sense of worth we need to get to know ourselves - the soft tender places and the bold and powerful places. The hurts and fears, the joys and successes. We are worth this nurturing time - we deserve it! It keeps our heads and our hearts healthy and makes us better daughters*, sisters, mothers, partners, friends, employees, entrepreneurs, dreamers."

i thought that was so powerful. it is something that i struggle with a lot and i'm not sure exactly how to go about loving yourself more, except as she says earlier in her post, to spend some time with yourself and rediscover who you are and what you love and why certain things are important to you. i love things that lift my soul. what is lifting you today?

date night

2010-03-13T09:54:00.002-07:00

last night was date night for the hubby and me. we rarley get a night just to ourselves so this was a treat. we ate mexican. i had a chimichanga that was delicious. we just talked and ate and enjoyed each other. it was so much fun. then we had a little time to kill, so we went to the only store in town - walmart - and just walked around and looked at our favorite things. i ended up with a book to read and we got some cookies to bring home for the kids. (i was having so much fun that i forgot to take many pictures.)

this morning we slept in and had toast for breakfast - a favorite around here. now i can either clean the house or go thrifting. hum...let me think about that. hopefully i can get some fun things to show you. so, i'm off. what are you doing this weekend?

glimpses of home

2010-03-12T12:36:00.002-07:00

i am a homebody by nature.

home is my haven.

it is where i feel the most comfortable.

where i can completely be myself.

it's my place to refresh and think.

it's where i enjoy my family.

these are some glimpses into my home.

1. my "comfy" corner - where i keep my blanket, slippers, and a good book. it always soothes my soul.

2. i love frames. and they are even better with pictures of my kids in them. they make me smile.

join up with Emily from Chatting at the Sky and share a glimpse into your home:)

sticky icky

2010-03-11T17:48:00.003-07:00

"me" time. that's all i have to say! today was awesome. i took kate to dance this morning and got to go shopping and read a book ALL BY MYSELF. that never happens. then i had a doctor's appt. and i got to be by myself for another hour or so. after that i took kate on a date to the di and then got my eyebrows waxed (why is that so painful!?). but i feel like a new woman. i hate when they get to that stage where you look like a werewolf - i know i shouldn't let it go so long but that's just my style:) when i finally did make it home, dave left to go look at fish with kira. if she keeps her room clean for a month she gets a pet fish. i don't know if i'm up to that much responsibility. i did kill my birds a few years back - what!? they can't go 2 weeks without eating? in my defense i had just had a baby and had a wee bit of post partum depression. ok a lot. but i forgot to tell our neighbor that we had birds. when we got home it seemed too quite. that's when we remembered. oops! we quickly disposed of them before the girls noticed. any way back to the day. they brought home doughnuts, so those are my pics of the day. sticky icky fingers. they were yummy. i love days like today.

megs

sun spots

2010-03-11T09:03:00.004-07:00

these are things i've "spotted" and think are cool.

this branch rod that layla (from the lettered cottage) put up in her reading room was so unique. i love this room in her house. i wish i had one:)

centsational girl has a tutorial on how to paint your cabinets with oil based paint. they turned out great.

i love these benches from 320 sycamore. you won't believe how she made them. beautiful and so creative!

what are some things that you love?

facebook?

2010-03-10T20:06:00.002-07:00

i am just going to put this out there. i know none of you will agree with me, but i think facebook is so wierd! i just tried to do it again and i just don't get it. it makes no sense to me & why would you want to see what other people are writing to other people? maybe i just don't get the point of it. i don't know if i ever will. and that's okay with me. because that is one less thing that i have to be addicted to:)

megs

2010-03-10T15:38:00.003-07:00

yesterday was gloomy, so i bought some tulips to brighten up the house! who says a girl can't spoil herself:) hope they brighten up your day too!

2010-03-09T16:46:00.005-07:00

i have a dream. i want to buy a really old house and remodel the entire thing - by myself. do you think i am crazy? dave does. and it drives him extra crazy because i talk about it all the time. i am constantly looking at houses, on the internet and by driving all around town. that is how i found this beauty and...it is for sale!!! can you even imagine what it looks like on the inside? i know it is old, but hopefully it has good bone structure. as long as it is standing strong there is no limit to what you could do with it. think of all the potential. you could even add a wrap around porch. eeeee! we can't even think about doing this right now, but that doesn't stop me from dreaming. i get so excited that my kids even ask me "which house do you want now mom?" i just think that would be the best thing. it would keep me busy doing something i love. i know it would be very hard work and take a ton of time, but the end result would be so amazing. so there you have it. that is my dream. what are you dreaming of?

flying high

2010-03-08T22:13:00.002-07:00

i felt so free today. i decided to let go of all the things i should do and just be. i felt like kate's kite blowing in the wind. it was so liberating. the kids and i just hung out together and played outside. kate was so excited to fly her kite. she ran around and around with it following behind her. I love march.

we also did a bunch of projects. the lamp is from the di. it was white with no bow. now it is black with a bow and i put it in the guest bedroom. the kids wanted to "make stuff" too, so they painted walnuts from our tree and made sock puppets. it was fun to watch them because they each worked so hard to make theirs beautiful and they all turned out really unique. an expression of their own personalities.

this was just a cute photo. bryce and his little girl friend are both small enough to fit in the little red car and their little flintstone feet were so cute rolling it around. what a beautiful day.

sweet, sweet, sweet

2010-03-07T23:21:00.004-07:00

we had so much fun this weekend. i got to go on a date to mcdonalds with my oldest. we ate and played. and while she played some more, i warmed myself by the fire. mcdonalds sure has changed since i was little. they are all pretty and cozy now. kinda wierd, but nice.

sleepovers and wrestling with dad on saturday night. i am SO sore from sleeping on the floor. but it was worth it. the kids loved it.

but the best part in my opinion was the surprise of pink and white circus cookies from my grandpa. that just made my day. how was your weekend?

megs

helping hands

2010-03-06T17:06:00.003-07:00

the ultimate party food around here is 7 layer dip. and yes, tomorrow we are having a par-tay! my cute cousin emilee is getting married and we are having a huge family shower and i am bringing the dip. usually i get pretty worked up about it being perfect, but i just read an article about being "the good enough mom". basically it's better to make good memories with your kids than to try to be perfect all the time...so, i let the kids help me make the dip. they stirred, they spread things, they even helped sprinkle on the tomatoes, olives and cheese. it was SO fun and it turned out great! not perfect - but good enough:) their favorite part was olive fingers. yum!

words to live by

2010-03-06T06:56:00.006-07:00

i am truly an beach lover. i love to hear the waves crash. i love the feel of the sand inbetween my toes. i love the smelll of the water. i also love that the beach, the ocean feels so freeing. it is a place where you can let go of your worries and just be. whenever i am at the beach i feel like anything can happen. it is my world for the taking. so here is the quote of the week...

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

that gets my blood pumping. to explore, dream, discover. there are so many things in this world that are availiable to us. find what you love and go after it. easier said than done, i know. but that is where this quote comes in...

"great love and great achievments invlove great risk."

i love that! great risk is scary, but worth it.

hope you all have a great weekend.

megs

broken head and shattered dreams (i mean glass)

2010-03-05T16:48:00.002-07:00

oh no. the great and mighty snowglobe has fallen. literally. onto kates bedpost, it shattered instantly. ariel was even decapitated. now this is no ordinary snowglobe. this is a snowglobe from disneyland. a snowglobe we just HAD to have. both girls pleaded on hands and knees that they each NEEDED a snowglobe. so, we caved and bought them each one. here's the funny thing about these snowglobes...they almost caused us to miss our plane ride home. i packed them in my carry on bag, not knowing if they were considered a liquid or not, anyway they weren't 3 oz. so i was not worried. we get all through check in and are going through the bag/person check place when all of a sudden everything comes to a halting stop. the lady picks up my bag and holds it like it has a bomb in it - out from her body and above her head.

bag check lady: did you KNOW that they are two snowglobes in this bag? (giving me the death stare as she says it, the inflection in her voice letting me know it is NOT okay.)

me: yes. is there a problem?

bag check lady: you cannot take snowglobes on the plane. (said like i'm an idiot)

me: oh. i didn't know that. what do i need to do?

bag check lady: you can throw them away or you can pack them in your suitcase and check the suitcase instead of take it as a carry on.

now at this point we have held up the whole line for 15 minutes for these stupid snowglobes and i think to myself, lets just toss the @*** things. but i look at my girls and know that is not an option. so, the bag check lady, still holding the bag above her head and away from her body yells : security! security! we have two snowglobes here. she then proceeds to lead me and my snowglobes through the waiting room and back out the side door. she won't even let me touch them until i am out of the building and away from everything. then i had to go back in, put them in my bag, check the bag - where i have been told to tell the people that i have snowglobes in my bag and that i had had trouble at the gate. so i do, which leads to a series of questions about the snowglobes. by this time i am just laughing. i can't believe that these two snowglobes are this important. well, anyway, i finally got them checked and we all made it onto the plane.

so, i am thinking these girls better take excellent care of their snowglobes, they better shine them daily for all the trouble we went through. and not two months later the first one in broken. AHHHHHHH! the things we go through for our kids.

loving it

2010-03-05T15:45:00.004-07:00

sending you handfuls of love.

twinkle toes and tutus

2010-03-04T17:30:00.008-07:00

so simple. so sweet. i love watching my children do something they really love. it makes me happy to see them so happy. today i got to stay and watch kate dance. she was loving every minute of it. skipping, leaping, with her hands in the air. she was floating on air. she just loves her teacher and i can see why. she is so sweet and encouraging. at the end of class they kneel down in a circle and pretend that someone is giving them a rose. then they say "a rose, for me? why thank you. ahhhh." i wish i could take dance from her! Just kidding, that would be some sight don't ya think:)

my little peanut

2010-03-04T04:39:00.006-07:00

kira. it has been a few months since you had your 6th birthday and girl have you grown. if i would have known how fast the time goes i would have cherished your 5 earlier years a lot more. i will try to take the time to breathe this year and live in the moment so that i can really enjoy our time together.

speaking of time, i want to know why it is that you never sleep. most nights i would beat you to bed, but i have to stay up because you are still reading or playing school or sneaking out of your room to see what dad and i are doing. we've tried to make you go to bed on our schedule but that just doesn't work. you have too much energy flowing through you veins. once you are sure that nothing else is going on, that you won't miss out on a single thing, then you calm down enough to sleep.

that's one thing that i've learned about motherhood for sure. schedule goes out the window. i thought that everything and everyone would just continue to go around my schedule. but when you were born you sure shook that up. you used to sleep about 20 minutes at a time about 3 times a day. i didn't get ANY sleep your first year of life, and little more by year 2. by that time kate was here and i was back to being the mommy of a newborn. no sleep again.

you were such a cute big sister. you would hold her and play with her and make sure everything was okay. i just wish you would be that way now! you are usually such a stinker to your sister. when you do play nice together it warms my heart. she looks up to you so much and just wants to be with you every second. i know that can be annoying, but someday, hopefully, you will be great friends.

i love how creative you are. you are definantly my little right-brained child. you love to draw and make things out of anything you can find. many times i will find you picking up walnuts to paint or rocks to glue onto something. i have so many projects of yours that i don't exactly know what to do with them all, but they are so precious to me that i have them all downstairs in my "kira" box. you are always playing house or some other imaginative thing. and when you get out your guitar and play rockstar it is my favorite.

you love holidays and are constantly asking me which one is next so you can be prepared. you ask a ton of questions, which gets on my nerves a lot, but you are just so interested in the things going on around you. i love that you love learning so much. you are a beautiful dancer and an imaginative singer. you are always making up songs and singing them to everyone. even in public restrooms:)

you care so much about the people that you love. you are constantly thinking of who you can write a letter to and about how to mail it out so that they will get something fun for the day. you love your grandmas and grandpas and are constantly asking to go and see them. you love your cousins too and love when you get to play with them. i wait until the last possible minute to tell you when we are going to grandma's house because then the questions begin...who will be there, can i play with anna/linda, what are we going to eat, can we play with the barbies. will there be dressups...on and on. yes, kira. you love questions. most of the time i have to answer 'I don't know' because some of them are just so beyond my capabilities of answering.

you are learning so much in school. and you love your teacher. it has been a hard transition for me, getting you ready to go to school in the mornings, doing homework at night, teaching you your sight words and reading for 20 minutes a day. we usually make a game out of it so that you will focus and get your things done. i thought that when i finally graduated from college that i was done with homework and getting up early for school. oh no. you don't really consider that it all starts again when you decide to have a baby.

you also have to choose what you wear all by yourself. i can't even suggest that you wear something that matches. sometimes it is so hard to let you walk out the door looking like a hobo with all of your mismatched clothes, but i love that you are confident and sure of yourself. i think that letting you pick your own clothes is so important in learning to make decisions. and, you are getting better at the matching thing...but sometimes! uggg! i'm so glad your sister has inherited this wonderful non-matching quality too. oh well, at least i try.

you love birds and watching them with your binoculars. you love hannah montana and taylor swift. your favorite song is "i hate that stupid old pickup truck" and you have been able to sing every word since you were 4. you are a drama queen when you want to be and so sweet at other times. you are always telling us that you love us and giving us hugs and kisses. you are very sensitive and you HATE HATE HATE the dentist. whenever we go i end up pulling my hair out in large chunks because you are so scared that you have to know everything that is going on and you keep jumping out of the chair and my uncle tom (the dentist) looks at me like "can't you control your child?" well, no i can't! she is her own person and has been from day 1.

kira i love you so much. thanks for being my little peanut. you make me happy.

love, mom

bad mom award

2010-03-03T17:27:00.005-07:00

funny story...this photo was taken just moments before bryce fell off the side of the shopping cart and hit his forehead on the concrete floor of our local wal-mart. when i picked him up he had a HUGE red and white goose egg on his forehead. i cuddled him and he cried a little. then he proceeded to scream bloody murder through the rest of the store because, feeling like an idiot for letting him hold on to the side of the cart like his sister, i forced him into the baby seat of the cart and buckled him in. he was not happy about that at all. heaven forbid i keep him safe - especially after a big blow to the forehead. so everyone is staring at me and my damaged child with looks of disdain. to make matters worse, as you can see he also has a bloody lip from going down our backyard slide on sunday morning. i couldn't wait to get out of there. do you ever just feel like the worst mom ever?! uggg!

sugar, sugar

2010-03-02T20:54:00.006-07:00

have you ever felt completley alone when you were in a room full of people? people are talking and laughing all around you but because you are too scared you don't say anything at all. sure, you answer a question if it is directed at you, but you don't really ask any in return because you don't have anything to say. you feel lost and out of place. this is how if felt tonight at RS, and how i feel everytime i go to church. this is how i feel at movie night with the girls from the ward. i know it's not their fault. it is mine. i am just too scared to put myself out there and make a friend. it took me 3 years in the last place we lived, just in time to move. how do you overcome this personality flaw? how do you stick out your neck and just be you and not care what people think? how do you ask questions when you truly can't think of anything at all to say? i know there are people out there who can do this. i see them all around me. i wish i could bottle their confidence. maybe that confidence comes from knowing who you are. and maybe knowing who you are comes from knowing the savior. just a thought. i think i will work on that.

on another note, i gave up sugar yesterday. today i did so good...until they stuck a piece of white cake with strawberry filling and the most delicious looking frosting in front of me at RS. i am a sucker for frosting. so that ended the no sugar thing. i will have to start again tomorrow. good night

pick me up

2010-03-02T15:33:00.004-07:00

today i went to redbox and got what i thought would be a good movie. big names like robert dinero, drew barrymore and kate beckinsale drew me in. and so i got it as an afternoon-pick-me-up-after-all-the-cleaning movie. but what a depressing show. (it is called everybody's fine). i came away from it feeling very down and disappointed in human nature. so, i went to my favorite pick-me-up of all time to life my spirits and put me back in a good mood. what else could it be but "FRIENDS"! my all time favorite show. I don't even have to watch it anymore to know what's going on. i could quote this show in my sleep. (amy knows what i am talking about:)) i just put it on and listened to it while i played with my kids. what could be better. except maybe if i was eating some sugar coated peeps or something while i watched! so now i am back to happy me. yea! what do you do when you need a pick-me-up?

peek a boo

2010-03-01T18:59:00.002-07:00

this is the first green i've seen in our yard...and...since it's now march, i thought i'd share my green with you. can't wait for it to bloom. happy march.

shadow play

2010-02-28T18:23:00.004-07:00

after a long day yesterday, it was nice to have a relaxing sunday today. the weather was so beautiful that we even got to play outside a bit.

the sun was shining so brightly and it was casting shadows everywhere. i decided to capture them on camera. i love this one of the branches on our apricot tree.

these were shadows from the railing on our back porch. the lines made an awesome pattern, especially on the steps.

this is my favorite. it is kate swinging on the swingset with bryce standing on top of it. i love how in the shadow you can even see the details in kate's hair.

these last ones were just some cool pics of my shadow, one on the couch, and kira all wide eyed. how was your sunday?

Funeral Moments

2010-02-28T08:49:00.004-07:00

the funeral service was beautiful, my favorite part was the violin solo that my sister played. it always amazes me how music can just reach past everything and touch your heart so strongly. it was so fun to see everybody and catch up a little bit. my little kira had a really hard time, she was very emotional through the whole thing. i think that she really understood what was going on, even in her little 6 year old mind. you know, while i miss grandma, i know that she is in a wonderful place meeting with friends and family who went before. i believe that most of the mourning that takes place in my heart is for those of us left behind. for grandpa and me and my kids who won't have her presence in our lives for a time. what a wonderful person she is. i'm grateful that she is my grandma.

2010-02-26T18:20:00.002-07:00

kate is my sincerely sweet one. today she taught me about truly sharing what you have to make others happy. there were two cookies left, which were both hers. her brother and sister both wanted one, so i gave them to her and let her decide what to do. it only took her one second to think about it before she handed a cookie to each one of them. what a sweetheart. i love you kate

we played outside today for the first time in FOREVER and bryce was loving it! he stamped around in the snow and played in his car. what did you do for fun today?

2010-02-26T10:23:00.003-07:00

the last few nights have been rough. i stayed up until 3:ooam on wednesday night working on my grandma's funeral program. i was so honored when my dad asked me to design it, but i also stress way to much about my designs. i wanted it to be just right. got it all printed off yesterday and it turned out great. then my oldest decided to take a nap yesterday on the way back from salt lake, so she was up until 1:30 last night. i am dead on my feet. so i slept in a bit this morning while dad got them all a healthy breakfast of cookies and milk. we're off to a good start today...um not really. but it's looking up, school and naps are coming and then hopefully i can take a nap. don't you just love sneaking in a nap once in a while. we've got a busy day ahead of us tomorrow with the funeral. back to salt lake and then the burial in nephi. but it will be good to be with family. now if i could only get my oldest to clean her room...she will clean the whole house with grandma, but can i get her to clean her room? NO WAY! it is such a fight. but i will just focus on my upcoming nap to keep me sane. yawn!

One Sad, One Glad

2010-02-23T13:05:00.004-07:00

One of my favorite blogs is The Lettered Cottage, written by Layla and Kevin Palmer. Layla is such an inspiration, not only when it comes to remodeling your home, but she is just such a positive person that I love to read her posts. Today's was especially nice and so I wanted to share part of it with you.

By Kobi Yamada

I love the line that says "she turned her can'ts into cans and her dreams into plans". Isn't that what life is all about. It makes me want to get up and do something great. Thanks to Layla for sharing that - she was a "day maker" for me:)

On a sad note, my Grandma passed away this morning after a short battle with cancer. She really was doing badly, so it is a blessing to have her go. I have been thinking this morning about her life and about the things she passed on to me. Here are some of them: a love of pink and white circus cookies, drinking orange juice out of little glasses, giving from your heart makes you happy, cheesecake ice cream is delicious, watching the UTES play basketball at the Huntsman Center is one of the best things in the world, dressing up is fun - even if it is a mink scarf with the face still attached, hanging mistletoe at christmastime is tradition, sleepovers in the guest bedroom at grandmas are enchanting, and that family matters most. I always knew she loved me because she was so willing to give anything she had to bring me happiness. She is that way with all of her grand and great-grand children. What a legacy she leaves behind - and although I will miss her, I know we will see her again someday and that brings peace to my heart.

2010-02-22T13:41:00.003-07:00

It is a BEAUTIFUL day. The sun is FINALLY out and it is just shining down its happy rays. It warms my heart. What warms your heart this Monday?

Finding My Voice

2010-02-22T13:17:00.003-07:00

I've lost my voice. I don't even have any thoughts in my head to express. I've suppressed them for so long that I don't even know where to find them. How do you give a voice to something that isn't there? I have always hidden behind the fact that I am shy, but I now realize that it is really because I am terrified of being rejected. I don't let people in, I don't let people know the real me. Because of this I've lost who I am. So, I've started this blog as a journey. A journey to find my voice, myself. Here goes nothin'!