have you ever felt completley alone when you were in a room full of people? people are talking and laughing all around you but because you are too scared you don't say anything at all. sure, you answer a question if it is directed at you, but you don't really ask any in return because you don't have anything to say. you feel lost and out of place. this is how if felt tonight at RS, and how i feel everytime i go to church. this is how i feel at movie night with the girls from the ward. i know it's not their fault. it is mine. i am just too scared to put myself out there and make a friend. it took me 3 years in the last place we lived, just in time to move. how do you overcome this personality flaw? how do you stick out your neck and just be you and not care what people think? how do you ask questions when you truly can't think of anything at all to say? i know there are people out there who can do this. i see them all around me. i wish i could bottle their confidence. maybe that confidence comes from knowing who you are. and maybe knowing who you are comes from knowing the savior. just a thought. i think i will work on that.
on another note, i gave up sugar yesterday. today i did so good...until they stuck a piece of white cake with strawberry filling and the most delicious looking frosting in front of me at RS. i am a sucker for frosting. so that ended the no sugar thing. i will have to start again tomorrow. good night
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